


Game of Silly Buggers

by ShawnMorgan



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), Torchwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 04:59:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7420894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShawnMorgan/pseuds/ShawnMorgan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cersei vs Sparrows mostly. Just a daft and short story</p>
            </blockquote>





	Game of Silly Buggers

Ianto Jones was not happy. He had hazy mermories of magic and Torchwood mixing realities and it wasn’t an experience he wished to repeat. From the look of it, the blonde haired woman on the other end looked equally exasperated.

For her part Cersei Lannister was fraught, it wasn’t enough that an invasion fleet with dragons in support was on its way, and that apparently the Starks were harder than cockroaches to exterminate, but now this…

Looking her most imperial, she said.” So this pirate is yours?” With that she indicated the man clasped in irons who seemed far too relaxed considering how close to being summarily executed he was.

“I’m afraid so, your majesty.” Ianto feigned politeness knowing full well the Masterful type he was dealing and quite frankly he wanted the transfer completed as quickly as possibly. “And I believe this fellow is yours?” Ianto indicated his own prisoner, a slightly overweight man in Spartan clothing. 

Cersei looked through the mirror she was using her lips curling. She was about to purr evilly when a piratical voice sounded right behind her. Captain Jack Sparrow did a double take. “He doesn’t ‘alf remind me of Elisabeth Swann’s dad…”

Cersei blinked and glanced over at the guards who were now inexplicably entangled in chains. She shrugged. If she could raise Joffrey, deal with her family and run a kingdom she could deal with this… whatever he was.

Ignoring the pirate, she turned her face back to Ianto Jones. “Let’s get this over with shall we?” Her counterpart just nodded.

Ianto Jones sighed and activated the Torchwood machinery to exchange the displaced guests. There was a swirl of blue energy around the intended targets and they swapped out.

Cersei looked at the man who had been extracted from her trap by the gods themselves and smiled. “ I owe a debt of suffering and I don’t think I need to tell you the unofficial motto of my family, do I Sparrow?”

From his vantage point across Time and Space, the transposed pirate blinked and sighed. It wouldn’t do to let anyone with the name or title of ‘Sparrow’ remain captured. That would be letting the side down. Oh well, he was used to losing loot after he’d just gained it. He whistled and gaining Cersei’s attention asking, "Don’t queens usually wear crowns?”

Cersei snapped her fingers and gestured for one of her gold cloaks to pass her her crown so she make a point. However, the hapless guard gestured helpless and pointed over at the grinning pirate who was now twirling a very familiar piece of headgear in his hands. She sighed.

“Lost something love?“

“What do you want in exchange pirate?”

“Just your prisoner. And that’s non negotiable.”

Cersei sagged and made the exchange.

“Today is the day you’ll….”

Cersei dropped the curtains over her mirror, ending the call and ordered everyone out.

Once she was alone and sure of it, she gave a scream of incandescent rage and bellowed words never heard before in Westeros and unlikely to ever be repeated. 

“$*@ing Torchwood!”


End file.
